i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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