I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
