WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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