he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Success! We fucked roommates!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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