I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize