:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
