At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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