You're so nebulous sometimes
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
