At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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