I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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