I wish I could teleport
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
