Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
