I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize