Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
