I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
