He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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