I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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