Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
