I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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