the new term for farting is butt boxing.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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