I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
