It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize