I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
