While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
You left your phone here
Wait...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize