just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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