she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
