Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
