bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
