So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You are the jesus of drinking
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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