I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You're a waste of cheezeits
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
