You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
