3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
