So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
