oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
