Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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