Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
