the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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