What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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