Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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