I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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