She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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