You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
