I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
