we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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