Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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