If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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