my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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