what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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