and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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