I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.