I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
fuck your aforementioned shoe
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.