Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
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Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
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Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.