This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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