well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
