She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
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She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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